CHANNEL SEVEN:
The Sunrise Team: Mel, Kochie, Nat, Mark: First names only but that’s where the impression of intimacy starts and stops. Despite what one hears about the intense carnal action amoung the broader Sunrise community, the on-air staff are about as rootable as four slices of Sunblest Sandwich in clingwrap.
Today Tonight: Anna Coren: You could, but check first for hidden microphones.
Seven News Melbourne: Jennifer Keyte, Peter Mitchell: Ms Keyte’s allure is the stuff of urban legend. Of Mr Mitchell we are less certain.
Seven Sydney: Ian Ross. Not actually a real person. Fantasy partner only … action which may involve one or more of those trademark stripey ties.
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